Memoirs of a Rideshare Driver: Typical Louisianian
Episode 20 in a series of true rideshare stories
They’re a good-looking couple in their mid-twenties. He is reasonably sober. She is wobbling, slurring drunk, and seems to be in the mood for an argument.
“How’s your night been?” I ask them, against my better judgment.
He is first to answer. “It was great. We played some darts. Met some fun people…”
“I didn’t like them,” she cuts in. “They were from Burley. Bunch of meth heads.”
“They weren’t on meth,” he says patiently.
“Yes they were. They were from Burley, Idaho.”
He laughs. “That doesn’t mean anything. You can’t judge people just based on where they’re from.”
“Um, yes, you can, ACK-tually…” she explains.
“No you can’t. There’s a whole spectrum of individuals everywhere you go.” He looks at me. “Help me out here.”
“Uh… so it’s this next turn up here then?” I reply, not really wanting in on this.
“People fall into a pattern because they want to,” she insists, “so they follow that pattern, whether they want to or not.”
That’s a hell of a sentence. Sounds like some kind of logic trap about the paradox of free will. You could probably kill Alexa with it.
“Nah,” says the guy. “Everybody’s different. Not everybody from California is a liberal. Not everybody from... I don’t know… Las Vegas… is a… a… gambler…”
“They totally are though!” she claims.
“No!” he says. “Okay, how about me? I’m from south Louisiana. I’m not a… a… toothless… swamp guy…”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, bull-shit…”
I drop them off and they get out, still arguing. I wish the toothless swamp guy luck, but somehow I don’t think any amount of reasoning is going to win this one for him.
Memoirs of a Rideshare Driver is a series that tells true stories of my 10,000+ trips as a rideshare driver. I will post them every Monday.